Telling Adult Children that You’re Getting a Divorce

Divorce may not be as disruptive to adult children as it is to young ones, but it can still be crushing news. Sharing news of your divorce with your grown children should be done with care and consideration. Below, find some suggestions on how to discuss a divorce with your grown kids, and contact an Alabama divorce attorney for additional assistance.

Find a good time to have the conversation

Your conversations with your kids may largely occur over text or email on a day to day basis, but find a time when you can tell your kids about your divorce in person or, if you don’t live in the same area, over the phone. Gathering your children together can also help make this news easier on your kids. By speaking alone to your children, you may leave them feeling isolated, or even feeling somehow responsible for the divorce. Shooting off a text or phone call in the heat of the moment may make the news even more painful for your kids to hear and can feel like a destructively glib way for your kids to receive this news.

Be careful how much you share

While your children may be mature, they’re still your kids, and you’re still their parent. Keep the intimate details of the end of your marriage to yourself. Your kids may be desperate to understand the reasons for the split, but keep what you share with your kids largely neutral to avoid forcing them to side with one parent over another.

Avoid blaming or speaking ill of your spouse

You may feel guilty toward your child about the end of the marriage, and thus tempted to blame your spouse for the divorce. However, keep this sort of blame or recrimination to conversations with friends or your therapist. You want your kids to continue to have a healthy relationship with both their parents, and speaking ill or blaming your spouse could end up hurting their relationship not only with your co-parent, but also with you.

Allow your children to react honestly and speak freely

Even if they understand that the divorce is ultimately in everyone’s best interest, your kids probably won’t be immediately thrilled to hear about the divorce. They may react with disappointment or even anger towards you and their other parent. Try not to take these reactions personally, and allow them time to grieve the end of their parents’ marriage.

If you’re looking for skilled and dedicated legal assistance with your Alabama divorce, contact the knowledgeable and compassionate Guntersville divorce lawyers at the Hawkins Law Firm for a consultation at 256-502-4444.