Signs You Should Consider Divorce
No one goes into a marriage planning on getting divorced. We get married expecting to stay with the same person for the rest of our lives. When the marriage starts to deteriorate, there are any number of reasons why we want to try to fix the relationship and make it work: love, children, financial security, and even simple pride. There are, however, signs to look for that suggest that it may be time to consider whether divorce is the best choice for yourself, your spouse, and even for your children. Below are some of the red flags to watch out for.
Sign #1: You Are Constantly Angry at Your Spouse or Vice Versa
If you and your spouse seem to be constantly angry with one another regardless of whether there is reason to fight, it may indicate that you are unhappy in the relationship. Dissatisfaction with a marriage leads to stress, which can lead to lashing out at your spouse over nothing. There are obviously good reasons to be angry with your spouse, and if you are being emotionally or physically abused by your spouse you should get help, but if you find you are angry without actual cause, it may be a sign to consider ending the relationship.
Sign #2: You Don’t Trust Your Spouse
Trust is an essential element of any successful relationship. If you find yourself checking your spouse’s phone or emails, looking for suspicious messages, there likely is a problem. Whether or not your suspicions are correct, the fact that you do not trust your partner is a problem in an of itself that you and your spouse need to address. If your spouse previously cheated on you and you are trying to move past it together, it is important to give them the opportunity to earn back your trust. Treating your spouse like they are constantly on trial is not a healthy way to approach a marriage. If you do discover infidelity, however, it may be time to consider your options.
Sign #3: Lack of Physical Intimacy
A healthy sex life is an important element to many marriages. If you and your spouse used to have a greater physical connection but now you find yourself repulsed by the idea of sex with your spouse, and/or you are satisfying your sexual needs elsewhere, your marriage may be waning. Lack of sexual intimacy historically has, in fact, been grounds for divorce (called “desertion”).
Sign #4: Your Visions of Your Future Do Not Include Your Spouse
At the end of the day, what matters is whether you see yourself together with your spouse in the future. Many marriages end after the last kid leaves the house because the kids were the only thing holding the marriage together. It is important to regularly check in with your spouse about where you see yourselves after the kids leave to see if your visions of your later years line up. It is worth taking the time to see if you can still keep your paths together, or if you are indeed better off going your own ways.